Items tagged with 'ha!'
Last week we posted a pic sent along to us by Heather for a dinosaur -- T. Rex, it appeared -- walking down Lark Street.
A lot of people seemed to get a good laugh out of the pic. So we followed up to ask the very important question: "What the (heck) was that about?!"
Heather sent along this scene from Lark Street Thursday.
Just your typical summer evening.
Karen noticed this tag in a local Price Chopper. Typo? We're gonna go with inspired.
TWC/Charter/Not-Comcast News really just needs to give Kate Welshofer her own show.
This made us smile: Local designer Curtis Canham has created a book about A-holes.
The negative space in a letter A, of course. (Why? What were you thinking about?)
Canham is currently raising money on Kickstarter to publish the coffee table book. As of this morning, the campaign needs just about $2,500 with 11 days to go. He explains how the book came about in the quick video embedded above. (Pretty sure he was trying to see how many times he could say "a-hole" in that video.)
Here's a sample from the book, which covers the anatomy of a-holes, historic a-holes, and families of a-holes.
Two Saint Rose students were on the Tonight Show Tuesday night as part of the "Freestylin' With the Roots" bit -- and it was all spring flowers and... candy corn.
And, of course, Jimmy Fallon is an alum, so they had that to talk about, too.
The latest photo illustration from local photographer John Bulmer:
You might remember Bulmer from the striking post-Apocalyptic Capital Region series "Reclaimed" and "Dark City."
From Lighting Research Center at RPI some science to go along with the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer story:
Interestingly, LRC research on perception under headlamp illumination of different colors under inclement weather like blowing snow confirms that the red color of Rudolph's nose was a very fortunate circumstance. LRC researchers John Bullough and Mark Rea measured peoples' ability to perform a driving task while looking through a simulated nighttime snowstorm. The headlights in that study could be red, yellow, white or blue-green, meaning people had to look through visual noise illuminated by different colors while performing the driving task. Performance was best under the red light and worst for the blue-green light. Bullough's and Rea's results showed that the light reflected by blowing snow when driving at night is least distracting when the color is red and that sensitivity to conditions like their simulated snowstorm may be influenced by rod photoreceptors in drivers' eyes, which are more sensitive to "blue" light and less sensitive to "red" light. In other words, the light from Rudolph's red nose could help make rooftops more visible by making blowing snow less visible!
And to think they used to laugh and call him names.
Looking forward to the "Rudolph" setting for the headlights on some future car.
And now local anchorlady Kate Welshofer with some Election Day news you can use.
After the break: We lobby CapitalNews9/YNN/TWCN/PossiblySomedayComcast to give Kate's goofball alter ego* her own segment.
This is total linkbait, but it's funny linkbait: The real estate website Movoto asked Californians how to pronounces the names of places in upstate New York.
Coxsackie. Skaneateles. Canajoharie. And so on. Hijinks ensue.
Remember Schenectady High School senior Draven Rodriguez and the laser cat yearbook photo?
Here's the compromise photo planned for the yearbook: Rodriguez and Mr. Bigglesworth along with principal Diane Wilkerson and her dog Vivian. CBS6 has some behind-the-scenes photo from the shoot, and reports the photo will appear on the principal's page of the yearbook with a message about pet adoption. [Daily Gazette] [CBS6]
Oh, and if you'd like your own laser cat portrait, the photographer -- Vincent Giordano of Trinacria Photography -- is offering them for $225.
photo: Trinacria Photography
Schenectady High School senior Draven Rodriguez has won yearbook this year. And the internet.
That's the photo he planned to submit to the yearbook this year, and started a pre-emptive petition for the photo's inclusion. Over at the Daily Gazette, Mark McGuire has some backstory -- and word from the school district about the photo's chances of making it in.
photo: Vincent Giordano
The Daily Show took up the state Senate's recent debate over yogurt becoming the official state snack of New York. (Really.) Or, as Jon Stewart described it: "This was maybe the best 40 minutes any legislative chamber anywhere in the country has ever spent."
Unfortunately, we're still at a loss as to whether frozen yogurt qualifies -- an important question given the impending summer weather. According to the Ranzerhofer Principle of Yogurt Inclusiveness, we think the answer is yes. But ultimately it could be a question for the courts.
Earlier on AOA: On state animals, vegetables and whatnot
Be sure to bundle up out there. We hear the inside of a tauntaun is rather smelly.
Thanks to my Ask @alloveralbany inquiry we had our chimney swept by Pete Looker who left this excellent receipt. [above]
I wish I was home to meet him. As the other commenters on @alloveralbany noted he did indeed wear a stovepipe hat!
And the judges award the win to Pete Looker, for execution and style!
After seeing this receipt, we were thinking we might enjoy those ridiculously long drugstore receipts if they had passages from Dickens or some sort of other Victorian literature on the back. Heck, some of them are long enough, you might be able to fit a whole chapter.
A few weeks back Welshofer started a video series on her No Teleprompter, No Mercy blog. The latest episode -- about being hungover (not that sort of hangover... we think) -- is embedded above. See also: Kate on Halloween, and Kate on trying to finish last in a 5k.
The clips are goofy. And they kind of create the impression that YNN is actually the fake TV station in a sitcom about a character named Kate. (This would explain so much about AnchorCat Brian.)
So we're waiting for the episode in which Kate mistakenly wears that pink wig from the Halloween episode during a news segment. Hijinks ensue.
Please stop what you're doing and take a moment to view a new work of art. A marking of a historic moment in Albany history as it makes an every-few-decades-or-more transition. A tribute in the media of meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
Behold: Loafy Jennings.
This masterwork is the creation of the esteemed Mr. Dave, proprietor of the Ridiculous Food Society of Upstate New York -- where he details the process of creating the meatloaf relief:
Albany Mayor Jerry Jennings has been synonymous in my mind with the city at large for the past 20 years. Alas, as all things eventually do, his run as the leader of the city in which I was born has come to an end. One of the dominate traits of my personality is that I do not handle change very well and that I am prone to fits of nostalgia. I am already nostalgic for the Jennings era and it hasn't even come to a close yet. So I was thinking of how, in my own small way, I might offer tribute and in my own nonsensical manner immortalize Mayor Jennings.
All hail Mr. Dave. He has won the local internet today.
About a week ago we got a question from Spencer about where to find something like a cronut here in the Capital Region. As you might know, a cronut is essentially a donut made from croissant dough. The "pastry hybrid" is said to be the creation of Dominique Ansel, a chef in Manhattan (who also trademarked the name). It's become a thing, with long lines and other accompanying zaniness.
Anyway, we posted Spencer's question. And in doing so, we mentioned -- only about half seriously -- that some local bakery should look into making an apple cider cronut. You know, because upstate.
Well, it turned out that The Crisp Cannoli in East Greenbush has been making a "crodo" -- basically its version of the cronut. And today, apparently inspired by our suggestion, it unveiled, yes... The Apple Cider Croissant Donut (AKA: CRODO).
And with that, our work here is done. Thank you and goodnight.
photo: The Crisp Cannoli
You know, everyone makes mistakes sometimes. It happens.
And sometimes, when it does happen, you have to laugh.
That screengrab above is from the Martin Bashir show on MSNBC, about the upcoming Barack Obama bus tour through upstate New York. And as @AlbanyArchives remarked: "We'd like to welcome Binghamton, Buffalo and Cuse to the Capital Region!"
The show owned up to the mistake. From a tweet last night:
Thank you viewers (and Buffalo bloodline @lukerussert) for pointing out our erroneous PA/NY map...an honest geographic mistake...
Update: A map of the MSNBC cities versus where the actual cities are (with distances)...
This made us laugh: Former Fox23 reporter Julie Tremmel -- now apparently on the ursine beat for a station in Rhode Island -- recently put together a package about a man who faced down a bear in his yard. Part of the story: how to "protect yourself should you come across a curious bear."
Then she demonstrated. And didn't hold anything back.
Buzzfeed has gifs.
We like to gawk at custom license plates.
And we know you do, too.
Here's yet another new bunch from around town...
We like to gawk at custom license plates.
And we know you do, too.
Here's yet another new bunch from around town...
A clip from the item "Two fellas need wedding dates (Saratoga, NY)":
We've been told by the bride that bringing dates is "mandatory" so we "won't harass all of my friends all night" and "stay under control". Rather than ask some fringe women in our lives to go and face the inevitable 'does this mean he wants to take it to the next level!?' questions, we'd rather bring complete strangers and just figure it out. Still reading? In anticipation of your questions we've developed an FAQ section below. ...
SO - What are you fellas like, anyway?
Oh us? We're both in our 20s, single, dashingly tall, Anglo-Saxon, respectfully athletic, love to party, completely house trained, relaxed, passionate, smell great, have cool hair, clean up nice, boast great tie collections, will promise to shave, love our mother, have seen Love Actually several times, controversial, provocative, short-sighted (with a big picture mentality), raw, emotional, sensitive but still bad boys.
What should us ladies be like?
You should respond in pairs as you'll want to know at least 1 person at this wedding. Sisters (twins?!) are preferable, but we'll take friends, or even enemies. You should be attractive or our aunts will judge you, but not TOO attractive or one of our uncles might grope you. You should be relaxed and easy going as we'll probably make up flattering lies about you on the spot. You should own a dress, or be able to acquire one because we don't have any. If (when) you respond you should send some pictures of yourself so we know you've met the above requirements. Feel free to include a resume; this is a classy wedding and we're looking for well-rounded women. Interesting/unique pairings are encouraged; don't be afraid to make yourself stand out!
As it happens, these guys come across as being just about some of the most normal people on Craigslist.
[via Kristi, who reports the brothers are from Colonie]
image: Craigslist item "Two fellas need wedding dates (Saratoga, NY)"
The people over at WEXT really don't invite us over enough.
Speaking of the Harlem Shake: the Matt & Kim version recorded at the RPI Field House show earlier this week has now racked up a 3.5 million view count on YouTube.
It's embedded post jump, along with a crowd-perspective clip.
The high temp in Albany for Monday will probably end up around 47 degrees. It felt like spring, especially compared to the near-zero temps a few weeks back.
Contrast that to a recent "cold snap" in southern California that has resulted in temperatures in the -- gasp! -- 50s (normal highs are in the upper 60s). As the clip above from the Jimmy Kimmel show demonstrates, this strange chill has prompted quite the reaction.
Now is the time, fellow hardy Northeasterners, to point and laugh. (Don't worry, LA can handle it.)
Broadway actress Erin Felgar really gives Daniel's plight the treatment it deserves.
Comment from Daniel at YouTube:
This is awesome! I am totally honored. Thank you.
Yes, this is a first world problem. For what it's worth, after this review the yogurt shop changed their spoons. Now they are fantastic.
(Thanks, Daniel Nester!)
The drawing appears as a proposed design for a new park in Pawnee. Understated hijinks ensue.
We're curious about how the show ended up with the rendering. Maybe they did a search for the most epic fountain, ever.
[via Knick Ledger]
Heh. The Colbert Report last night recognized Nite Moves owner Stephen Dick as a "difference maker" for his fight to have stripping regarded as an art form. For tax purposes. So he wouldn't have to pay a lot of back taxes.
Steve Barnes plays a prominent role in the segment, lending his expertise in art criticism. And what it's like to have breast sweat smeared on your glasses. (Steve says over at Table Hopping that he's "generally pleased" with how his appearance turned out.)
As you know, Nite Moves recently lost its case before the state's highest court in a 4-3 decision.
This made us laugh: it's a (more-or-less) full-size replica of Han Solo frozen in carbonite -- made of LEGO.
We wandered into the Kidspace section of MASS MoCA this weekend, and after gawking at the mammoth skeleton, our eye immediately was drawn to LEGO Han. Both pieces are part of the new "Curiosity" exhibit there.
LEGO Carbonite Han is the creation of Nathan Sawaya -- he's a professional LEGO artist whose work has been exhibited all over the country. His pieces range from re-creations -- like Han -- to works that are more philosophical (a man ripping open his own chest, LEGO bricks spilling out). As Sawaya told Stephen Colbert a few years back, he was working as a lawyer before becoming a full-time LEGO artist.
The Han piece is made of about 10,000 bricks. Larger photos are post jump.
We like to gawk at custom license plates.
And we know you do, too.
Here's yet another new bunch from around town...
Monday night was Andrew Cuomo bobblhead night at the ValleyCats game. The bobblhead on the right is the one snagged by Jessica R.
Much like the actual Andrew Cuomo, the the bobblehead Andrew Cuomo apparently enjoyed strong popularity. People were lined up ahead of time in order to score one of the 1,500 bobbles. Inevitable next question: will bobblehead Andrew Cuomo run for the bobblehead presidency? The world holds its breath, nodding its head gently, waiting for an answer.
Sadly, the life of a bobblehead can be tough -- a lesson bobblhead Andrew Cuomo found out last night.
Earlier on AOA: Kim's collection of Capital Region/New York State bobbleheads
photo: Jessica R
Either that, or this is some sort of new bike lock.
A few more large-format photos post jump.
Earlier on AOA: Yarnbomb in Troy
In a bit of a follow up to the the deer cowboy crossing sign from earlier this week, Kerosena sent along this pic of a winged pedestrian crossing sign at UAlbany. (Or is it a hiking angel?)
Arielle noticed this sign on Delaware Ave near Bethlehem High School.
(Unless, of course, there's been an issue with deer-riding cowboys crossing the road there. You never know.)
What?! Tim spotted this van on State Street in Albany near the Capitol last week.
The line below the King logo: "Venetian Blind and Drapery."
As Duncan emailed: "It'd be fun if folks from around the Albany area were encouraged to make these for their various communities (i.e. Albany, Schenectady, Delmar, Clifton Park, Saratoga, etc)."
Earlier on AOA: Duncan Crary, downtown disciple
From The Onion: "An Albany, New York man was surprised to find a human head in his Double Whopper at a local Burger King."
No doubt this has been a difficult winter for local yeti, what with the lack of snow and all that. We can only hope this guy finds a good new home.
Is this your yeti? We'd love to hear the backstory.
They yeti is by Amy Pollicino. She writes in the comments:
That is right, this sweet, cuddly, well behaved Yeti is looking for a new home. Even with the mild weather and lack of snow he has remained well tempered and optimistic that he may find a good forever home somewhere in the Capital Region :) He was originally created for the Winter Wonderland window display contest run by the Troy BID. Now that the contest is over he is hoping to find a more permanent place to reside. Although he appears to be more fitting for a colder climate he enjoys troy and Upstate New York, curious to stick around to possibly meet up with one of his close cousins, the Sasquatch. If you have any interest please contact me vie FB or email PollicinoA@yahoo.com
More evidence that "sh*t (insert whatever) say" is the dominant mode through which we now understand modern society: local public radio people Sarah LaDuke, Ian Pickus, and David Hopper have created a "Sh*t Public Radio Listeners Say" video.
And it's funny. Because it's true. Nicely played.
If you sit with the volunteers answering calls during a WAMC pledge drive, you will hear about half of these things in one hour. They'll also tell you that you sound taller on the radio.
Earlier on AOA: Local holiday wish list: Sarah LaDuke
We had a laugh this week after seeing this sign at the Price Chopper Plaza in Slingerlands.
We happened upon what was, for a few minutes at least, easily the happiest place in the Capital Region Wednesday afternoon in Schenectady.
Why? Bubbles and hugs.
Rhea noticed this sign in a pawn shop on 3rd Street in downtown Troy today.
That's one way to get back at him.
Tiny Face is an app that tests your ability to make your face small. Yep, you read that correctly.
As its website proclaims: "The definitive mobile application for quantitative face-reduction analysis is now available to the general public." Tiny Face uses the camera on the iPhone and iPad to take before and after photos, then it measures the difference. (Just be careful your face doesn't freeze that way.) It's 99 cents in the iTunes apps store.
It's the creation of jackadam, a Troy firm that specializes in building all sorts of creative digital whatnot.
Also, the theater currently only has one bathroom for women. That fact is made very clear in the video embedded above, which features Parker Posey.
By the way: Showing this weekend at the Crandell: Our Idiot Brother, starring Paul Rudd, Emily Mortimer, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey Deschanel, and Steve Coogan.
In this case we're not so sure it was a blooper rather than someone at the Gazette having some fun. The headline is from a 1998 story by Jill Bryce about a work alternative program administered by the Albany County Sheriff's Department.
Miriam snapped this pic recently after spotting this car in the parking lot outside the Target in Latham. It pushes the Mini's cuteness to an until-now-only-theoretical level.
So... where does one get mascara for those lashes?
From a recent op/ed by the Karner Blue Butterfly in The Onion:
I think people always expected that when the time came for us to go extinct, we'd go down all quietlike--that just because we're small blue butterflies with a wingspan of an inch, we wouldn't put up a fight. Well, I can assure you that before my kind dies out there will be a reckoning. Blood will run in the streets. Human blood.
I swear to you on all that is good and holy that before the Karner blue goes extinct, myself and the last remaining members of my species will take out as much of the human race as we possibly can. There will be mayhem. Children will die. People will suffer.
You can take that to the bank.
So... tread lightly in the Pine Bush. There's nothing more dangerous than a butterfly with nothing left to lose.
Earlier on AOA: The Karner Blue and its local history
photo: Hollingsworth, J & K/US FWS via Wikipedia
So, that might answer a few questions about her... cupcakes.
Possibly not safe for work.
Earlier on AOA: A handful of items about Sandra Lee
Comedian and playwright Lewis Black is heading for Albany in a few months to do his stand-up act at The Palace. Black is well known for his rants and observations about politics, which is pretty much our local sport.
So we gave him a call to ask what he thinks about some of the things that have been going on lately at the state Capitol.
The Daily Show takes on the state Senate's choice of issues to address.
And because we know you're hanging on every development in this state vegetable drama, contrary to that new report in the clip, only the Senate has voted in favor of corn. The grain (yes, not actually a vegetable) is backed by Republicans in the Democratic majority Assembly.
Ricky Gervais has a very important message for the Pulitzer Prize committee, and it involves the Post-Star:
Ed noticed this sign today at Swan and Lancaster near the ESP in Albany.
Yep -- it's one way, right down the drain.
photo: Ed Lass
Thank goodness Caporizzo was there to save the end of newscast.
Okay, we know -- as a form of poetry, the limerick appears to be only tangentially connected to Ireland. But we're presenting it here as a way to get into the spirit of St. Patrick's Day without the need for rioting. And you people are just so clever, we know you'll come up with something great.
Our limerick contest will be judged by Daniel Nester. He's a poet himself -- and we have a feeling he's enjoyed a limerick or two. (Did they ever involve a small island off the coast of Massachusetts? We wouldn't rule it out.)
And yes, there shall be a prize. How's a $20 gift certificate to the Ginger Man strike you?
Rules -- and a few sample limericks -- after the jump.
We live in an early-1920s Tudor Cottage in Niskayuna, which sounds lovelier than it feels. There are many elements of its history that we don't appreciate, like its knob-and-tube electric wiring or the dark little alcove near the stairs that leads nowhere and has become the cat's room.
However, we occasionally enjoy its charms, like when we discovered some c. 1926 newspapers up in the attic. By the time we'd discovered them, they had mostly mouldered away, but I was able to salvage several advertisements. I thought that I'd share a few of my favorites...
Worth a few smiles: Skidmore makes an appearance in The Onion this week. From "ExxonMobil CEO Really Hurt That College Student Is Talking About Him Right Now":
IRVING, TX--According to sources within ExxonMobil's global headquarters, Rex W. Tillerson, the company's president, chairman, and CEO, was completely devastated Wednesday by what 18-year-old Skidmore College freshman Samantha Huestis was saying about him in her dorm room.
It seems he really took her comments about polar bears to heart.
Update: Drew confirmed with Skidmore that Ms. Huestis is, in fact, fictional.
Tangent: Have you ever heard the This American Life segment about The Onion writers' room? It's great.
We spotted this parking job at Crossgates Commons the other night and it made us a laugh a bit.
Our Monday was little feeling a little gray, but this has brightened things up a bit. It's an AOA online snow globe -- go ahead and check it out.
On some computers (Mac with Firefox), you can actually make the snow globe "tilt" by tilting your laptop side to side. In other browsers, you can direct the snow with your mouse.
We've been keeping this open in a tab and switching to it every hour or so. It's made the day pass a little faster.
UAlbany nanoscience grad student Nick Fahrenkopf noticed this past weekend that the Twitter account originally linked to on Andrew Cuomo's official gubernatorial site didn't exist. So he created the account. We go to NYT for the rest of the story (links added):
And Mr. Fahrenkopf's first few Twitter messages seemed right out of the governor's press office, providing links to the first executive order that Mr. Cuomo signed on Saturday, the transcript of his inaugural address, and a Web page to enter the lottery to receive tickets to the State of the State address on Wednesday.
But the tone eventually got less statesmanlike, as the subjects veered toward his dislike of the Executive Mansion (not enough parking for his muscle cars), possible staff appointments (including his predecessor, David A. Paterson, to write jokes for his speeches); and plans for the next snowstorm (shoveling people out in Albany, à la the Twitter-friendly mayor of Newark, Cory A. Booker).
Of course, word got around that the account wasn't actually Andrew Cuomo (if only). But it was (and continues to be) fun. And as Nick tweeted (on his own account) yesterday: "To be fair- Cuomo has his hands full. There is a lot to be done. But don't do Web/Twitter/Social Media half ass."
Could the fake world already be a view into the real world? Because Fake Shelly Silver is already annoyed with Fake Andrew Cuomo.
By the way: the real Andrew Cuomo Twitter account is @nygovcuomo.
Emily's site has a bunch of other cartoons drawn from her daily life.
And in what only seems like a skit, the real McMillan is now shilling for an online shopping site. [TU CapCon]
SNL took on Jimmy "The rent is TOO DAMN high" this past weekend. We wouldn't be surprised if some of this skit was already written before the gubernatorial debate was over...
It's funny enough. But it points to the difficulty of parodying a process that has already successfully parodied itself.
NY Mag asked McMillan about the skit -- his response: "That put me over the top. It's over. This election is over."
Fox23 went to Brooklyn last week to follow McMillan. It found that he's pretty good at staying on message, not so great at math and that people in the neighborhood call him "Papa Smurf." Also, if elected he says he would turn the Governor's Mansion into a dojo.
And that bit about McMillan not paying rent? He told NYT last week that he hasn't paid rent for the last decade because he and his landlords are "like family."
Earlier on AOA: Other things that are too damn high
This has been circulating for a few days since the gubernatorial debate. But it's fun, so we thought we'd post in case you hadn't caught it. It's a mashup of Up and audio from the debate.
(Thanks, Fred and others!)
Earlier on AOA: Other things that are too damn high
Because, well... just because...
The Atlantic created this video to reproduce the confrontation in "a format where Paladino's and Dicker's terms are clearer and easier to understand."
David Paterson -- the actual David Paterson -- appeared on SNL this weekend to respond to the jokes the show has made about him.
He got one or two good ones in -- like this line: "Working in Albany is a lot like watching Saturday Night Live -- there's a lot of characters, it's funny for 10 minutes... and then you just want it to go away." But he's funnier doing his own material.
As it happens, the Fred Armisen Paterson was pretty funny this time around.
We can only hope "Carl Paladino" will eventually make an appearance.
Today's t-shirt at Woot! -- the one-deal-a-day site -- is a design by Rensselaer artist Andrew Gregory. The design is above -- you can probably make out why it's called called "Mocking Bird". It's $10. The deal ends at midnight.
Gregory's site has a bunch of his other shirt designs -- a lot of them are clever and funny, making using of of verbal and visual puns.
Earlier on AOA: "Rub me on your butt!"
Thankfully, there's a happy end to this story.
[via Brian, who has all four videos lined up on one page]
If you liked "Let's Have a Party Albany," you might get a kick out of this.
This week All Over Albany was introduced to All About Albany -- the 1981 board game.
Mousse up, put on your Don Johnson jacket, and lets take a little trip in the way back machine.
Everyone makes mistakes. And copyediting mistakes are especially easy to make (AOA is ongoing proof of that). But this one, from a job listing for the Saratoga Springs High School principal position, is a tough one:
Perhaps the district is looking for a principled principal.
We took that screenshot Sunday evening. To the poster's credit, the listing was fixed today.
Earlier on AOA: Something malfunctioned
Paula Poundstone: It must sort of smart a bit when you realize how hard your worked to get there... Before someone runs for office in New York, they should probably make them go look at Albany...
Peter Sagal: See what they think...
Poundstone: Yeah, exactly...
Sagal: It'd be like a scare-straight program for potential politicians.
We're guessing it won't hurt that badly.
photo: Paula Poundstone
When Burnt Hills' Cindy Gotobed wants a party, she doesn't mess around.
For the past five years she and her family have hosted a Balloon Room party in their living room for her kids and their friends. What's a balloon room party, you ask? Only 1000 inflated balloons packed into your living room.
Why? It's 1000 inflated balloons packed into your living room.
Here's something to ponder this Friday afternoon. Martin emails today:
My wife and I woke up this morning to find a giant, stuffed-animal pig in our backyard. We have absolutely no idea where it came from, how it got there, or why it suddenly arrived in our yard.
We live in Pine Hills, so there's always some kind of shenanigans going on... but this?!
Martin says the pig is about three feet tall. He and his wife are looking for suggestions about what they should do with it.
We vote for adoption.
We noticed this sign while walking past the Hollywood Video at University Plaza in Albany today.
We think it refers to free DVD rentals. Probably.
I thought perhaps I had hallucinated this billboard when I saw it last weekend, caught without my camera, and I despaired for my sanity when several attempts to view it during the week presented me with no such public-spirited reminder. But yesterday afternoon, there it was again, tucked in among the countdown to Christmas and ads for a nightclub -- a special request from Lamar for drivers along I-787 to stop picking their noses.
(This is one of the new electronic billboards along I-787, just north of the Corning Preserve boat launch.)
Now that New York State has a ban on texting-while-driving, we can only hope our legislators will take up the issue of a picking-while-driving ban.
photo: Carl Johnson
Humorist Max Brooks will be at Sage this Wednesday night sharing tips on how to survive a zombie uprising. From the Sage blurb (links and emphasis added):
The Sage College of Albany welcomes Max Brooks, novelist, humorist, renowned Zombie preparedness expert and authority on the truth and myths surrounding the undead. The evening will include a reading from new materials, a chance for audience members to ask questions, followed by a book signing.
Brooks is the best-selling author of The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. His books outline ways to not only escape a Zombie attack, but shares techniques that allow the reader to defensively prepare for whats to come.
Brooks, who's the son of Mel Brooks, has a new book: The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks.
The talk starts at 9 pm in the Kahl Campus Center Gym at the Albany campus on New Scotland Ave. It's $5.
Earlier on AOA: Photos from Zombie Walk 2009
photo: Patrick Dodson
I don't know how many times I have driven by the Colonial Car Wash on Western Avenue, only to scratch my head in confusion. Under the Colonial sign, there is another sign advertising...wait for it... a free "Salad Bar."
A salad bar at a car wash? Kind of makes you go hmmm, right?
Yeah, me too. So last week, when I was craving some veggies and an express wash, I decided to check it out.
As one of the only Mustached American U.S. governors, Gov. Patterson would have certainly been a fine candidate for the prestigious "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" honor, which will be awarded at 'Stache Bash 2009 featuring John Oates on Oct. 30 in St. Louis.
But the Governor's calous, selfish, and ignorant act has done a great disservice to people of Mustached American descent who were willing to support him in his reelection efforts. Now, more than likely, our community will shun him, and in an election year, it was a decision that was clearly made without great thought.
As it happens, "people of Mustached American descent" was the only demographic still supporting David Paterson.
In the 1992 comedy classic Wayne's World, Rob Lowe's character, Benjamin Kane, asks Dana Carvey's Garth Algar how he likes new set for their show. "It's like a new pair of underwear," Garth says to blank stares. "At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you."
You could say my skinny jeans have started to become a part of me. Not! They have loosened up, around my muffin-top waist. My ass has grown accustomed to being presented out in public. But then there's the pain.
Perhaps it's psychosomatic, but I have begun to feel a slight tingle in my inner thigh. This, I fear, could be an early symptom of Tingling Thigh Syndrome, which is not a joke, but rather a real ailment that doctors have reported can potentially be caused by the wearing of skinny jeans, the extreme pressure of which can constrict the femoral nerves that run from groin to outer thigh to knee, leading to a condition known as meralgia paresthetica, Latin for "tragically hip with your balls in a vice."
Dan has a book coming out soon. How to Be Inappriopriate hits shelves (and UPS trucks) November 1.
Earlier on AOA: Dan Nester's Watchful Analysis of New Growth
photo: Rob O'Neill / Dan Nester
The American Mustache Institute (warning: that site plays music) hailed Paterson's decision. From a letter to sent to the Paterson administration, congratulating the now 'stached governor:
You see, the beard or goatee represent what is known in the facial hair community as the "spousal compromise," which is the half-way meeting point between the utter weakness of the clean shaven and the sheer, unvarnished power of the Mustached American. It's where your spouse says to you,"My dear, I cannot manage the sheer awesomeness of that mustache. But a beard or goatee -- I could deal with that." Hence, the "spousal compromise."
Understand, however, what your new mustache means. As a freshly minted Mustached American in a position of authority, you represent much more than simply the good people of New York. You now represent a community of downtrodden Americans - people of Mustached American descent - for whom you stand as a sign that we are not only fit to hold positions in waste collection, motorcycle repair, and hospital equipment maintenance. You are proof that a Mustached American can be a Governor, a leader, a respected beacon of excellence.
The full communication is after the jump. Apparently our governor is now eligible for a "Goulet" -- if only someone will nominate him.
Jen snapped those pics Saturday morning while driving down North Main in Albany.
We can only hope that she was able to detour over to Manning and avoid the undead traffic.
If hordes of brain-eating zombies weren't ahead, perhaps the sign was inspired by a similar prank in Austin.
Earlier on AOA: Zombie Police of Schenectady
We have to admit to turning a bit green with envy when we saw Kim Mazor's lineup of Capital Region/New York State bobbleheads.
Kim's posted a bigger version on Twitpic.
This commercial for Dom's Pizza -- which has locations in Latham and Stillwater -- made us laugh. You'll recognize the allusion right away.
Do you think they sent Billy Fucillo a few pizzas?
Jimmy Fallon did finally graduate from St. Rose this past weekend. During his commencement speech, he talked about how hard it was to get the college to give him his degree (he was 15 credits short after dropping out):
I'm on national TV, can I have a degree now?
'No, you keep laughing at all the jokes.'
And then I made a bunch of movies... they actually took credits away from me.
The video of Fallon's speech is embedded after the jump. It was pretty funny.
Two guys are sitting in Uncommon Grounds, talking...
Guy #1: My wife really wants a dog but I don't really want to get into all that.
So the other day someone asked her "When are you going to get that dog?" And she says "right after my husbands funeral?"
Guy #2: Do you really think she's going to wait until the funeral?
Blue Pants -- Albany's very own traveling garden gnome -- has been very busy lately. After Margie found him on UAlbany's uptown campus, he went on quite the eating and drinking spree (result: overindulgence -- see above). Here's the whole whirlwind trip. Then Margie helped him find a new hiding spot.
But now we've heard that Blue Pants has already been found! And he's off on new adventures! We're looking forward to BP's next round of hijinks.
Earlier on AOA: Have you seen these gnomes?
(Thanks, Sebastien and Kim!)
Blue Pants has been found!
Margie plucked him his hiding spot on the UAlbany uptown campus. She reports:
We are having a day or two of adventures around Albany, taking plenty of pictures, and then I will re-hide him somewhere in the city for another to find. I have attached a picture for you. More to come...
We're looking forward to hearing about Blue Pants' next adventure.
Sadly, we've yet to hear what's come of Blue Pants' gnome comrade, Red Pants. We can only hope he's found a nice garden somewhere.
Earlier on AOA: Have you seen these gnomes?
Jimmy Fallon was on the Tonight Show last night -- and he talked about his upcoming graduation from St. Rose:
He starts talking about St. Rose -- and how we dropped out -- about two minutes into the video.
So, if he dropped out, how are they awarding him a degree? "They're giving me credit for all the communicating I've been doing."
After the TU's (in)famous 2004 Fountain Day photo resurfaced last week, we were kind of curious to find out what's become of the two people in the pic.
Well, we're still keeping an eye out for the mysterious Tatiana Shvachus -- but we found Eric Fisher. He's now a TV meteorologist in Springfield, Massachusetts.
We emailed him a few questions about his memories of that day -- and that picture.
The young Holstein, a sworn vegetarian, loves alfalfa sprouts, maple syrup, veggie lasagna, mesculin, arugula, and cheese, claiming "it's like mother's milk." In addition to being a foodie, C. Abunga occupies her time like most other teenagers. She secretly wishes Joe of the Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift would get back together. She plays the Wii (noting she "rocks Wii Play's racing cow game"). She dreams of moving to Hollywood to become a Happy California Cow and put her hoof prints on the Walk of Fame.
"Have you seen those girls?!" exclaimed C. Abunga. "I mean they're like four legged versions of Marilyn Monroe!"
Noted: C. Abunga has a Chinese pen pal named Mu Cao.
Check out this great anecdote from a St. Rose Chronicle story by Allison Maloney about Jimmy Fallon's time at the school back in the early 90s:
Fallon garnered attention off-stage, too. One time, at The Playdium, the closest bowling alley to campus, where Saint Rose students had gathered for community midnight bowling, he did something a lot of people may have the impulse to do, but never act on.
"All of the sudden, you see this person sprinting down the bowling lane. [Fallon] dove like a Pete Rose slide, head first, and knocked all the bowling pins over. He got up and he did a big X like he got a strike and the whole place went nuts and starts clapping," said Eaton.
As you can imagine, that didn't go over well with the alley's owners -- and they kicked him out. But Fallon managed to get the last laugh.
Previous AOA items about Jimmy Fallon.
A couple of people have emailed us today about a "dump tax" that's taking effect today. From the site for this "tax":
The New York bathroom tax will take effect at midnight on March 26. All bathrooms in state buildings and roads will now require a $1.00 pre payment. Toilet paper will be available at twenty-five cents per 10 sheets. Credit and debit cards will be accepted. We thank you in advance for your patience during this transition.
*We didn't hear the segment in which they apparently talked about this today, so they might have owned up to the hoax on the air.
We spotted this tiny truck tooling along the sidewalk today at St. Rose and it made us smile. It almost looked like it would tip over when the guy got in the driver's seat.
We can only hope they use the trucks to deliver something equally tiny and cute and a little weird. Like garden gnomes.
This Mental Floss guide to destroying the world with nanotechnology made us laugh a little bit. And, of course, it's locally relevant. Check out the three things you need to be "annihilating civilization in no time":
1. An advanced research facility -- yep, got that.
2. Vast reserves of cash -- we're guessing $4.5 billion will cut it.
3. A soul full of evil -- hmm, we may have to poke around for that...
So, there you have it: the Capital Region is already 2/3 of the way toward developing civilization-destroying nantechnology. Well, either that or really small computer chips.
Either way, this seems like a growth industry.
We spotted a person wearing an "Albany is Eggcellent" shirt yesterday in Uncommon Grounds. The shirts are made by New York Old School and, as we heard, they were designed by local artist Michael Campion.
(Thanks, Laura and Mike and Harith and Pete!)
Later on AOA: New York Old School is selling the shirts again (August 2011)
TJ sent us this picture yesterday with the message:
"I saw this outside my house tonight, and i could swear that the Corning Tower was giving me the middle finger. I'm sure its just my crazy eyes and a strange coincidence, but the image made me laugh."
photo: SUNY Cobleskill
Nic sent along this scene from Uncommon Grounds...
Male Customer: Hi, I'll take a re-fill of the House.
Female Employee: Sure, could you take your top off?
Male Customer: Umm... sure. No problem.
We spotted this truck yesterday at the intersection of Fuller and Washington in Albany.
It made us smile.
Two elderly ladies are standing outside the liquor store at University Plaza in Albany looking at the window display.
Lady #1: "Why didn't they have this stuff when I was drinking?" (continues slowly) "A Godiva... chocolate... caramel... carameltini? What the heck is that?"
Lady #2: "That sounds disgusting."
"Gary Busey is a monkey who eats snakes."
Mnemonic aid devised by two students studying for some kind of biology exam at Uncommon Grounds.
(Yes, we laughed. Hard. So did other people sitting around there.)
The good thing about Craigslist: it's a window into our fellow community members' wants, needs and aspirations. The bad thing about Craigslist: it's a window into our fellow community members' wants, needs and aspirations.
Good or bad, we'll let you decide...
What can we say?
The inauguration has really inspired us.
Created with Obamicon.Me.
A bigger version is after the jump.
If we have to be freezing, then we might as well do it with style right?
I'm thinking that these mustache-adorned ski caps might be the perfect way to keep warm during the frigid temps we've been having.
So, this morning we turned on Capital News 9 only to find poor Kaitlyn Ross shivering on an Albany street corner just so viewers could see exactly how cold it really is outside.
And a few months back, when trees were bent over with ice, Kaitlyn was standing in Washington Park to let the Capital Region know that it was much too dangerous to -- you know -- stand in Washington Park.
In fact, if it's morning -- and the weather sucks -- turn on channel 9 and you're almost certain to see poor Kaitlyn out in the thick of it. Which prompts the question, what the hell did she do to piss off the Capital News 9 producers?
And of course, being us -- we had to ask.
We had always kind of wondered why Pinhead Susan's in Schenectady is called, well, Pinhead Susan's. And now we know, thanks to this video:
The Saratoga horse vandals will be featured tonight during a show on the cable channel TruTV (it's what Court TV is now called).
The show is called Most Daring, the tagline for which is "Ordinary People in Extraordinary Danger." But the show actually seems to be more like a reality take on "Ow! My Balls!" with a Chilean stripper or two thrown in for good measure. So, it looks like these people should fit right in. It starts at 9 pm.
Earlier on AOA: Horse vandals get treatment they deserve
Albany, N.Y., is an indoor tanning mecca, a hotbed of hot beds. There are more than 800 tanning salons in the greater capital region. Four-term Albany Mayor Jerry Jennings presides over ribbon-cuttings with a year-round bronze. At the historically Catholic college where I teach, students grow more preternaturally orange as winter progresses.
I have never fit in here. I was pasty-faced even for Brooklyn, and when I moved to this tanner's Valhalla I became even more freakishly white. And so, half anxious to fit in, half curious to learn the appeal, I decided to embark on an experiment in which I would join the ranks of the fake-baked to see how a deep, midwinter tan could change my life.
Noted: smelling "like a french fry" not the best way to seduce wife.
photo: The Daily Beast
Two younger adults, a woman and man, are sitting in the Panera at Crossgates Commons. After an accounting of many drunken escapades, the woman concludes:
"What people don't understand is that it's totally accepted in my profession to be drunk at work -- or to leave work and come back drunk."
Do you think it will multiply my money like loaves and fishes?
I have a pretty relaxed view of what's tacky, I'll admit. If it makes you happy, I'm cool with it. Mostly.
But I was stunned when I came up the escalator at Borders (Crossgates) earlier this week and saw this prominently displayed on a table.
New York Now has put together a highlight reel from yesterday's bizarre leaders meeting at the Capitol (though "lowlight" might actually be the better word).
Watch as David Paterson talks about auditory hallucinations, Sheldon Silver steams as Jimmy Tedisco tries to lecture him, and Malcolm Smith gives Dean Skelos the hand.
You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wonder how our state government became an episode of the Jerry Spring Show.
The folks at New York Now promise more clips and analysis on this week's show, which airs Friday at 7:30 pm on WMHT (it also repeats Sunday 11 am and 11 pm).
After Brock suggested that the video of the Saratoga formal wear horse vandals should be sped up and set to the Benny Hill theme, Sebastien made it happen. This will make you laugh:
Big thanks to Sebastien!
By they way: the original video popped up on the Oddball segment of Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Friday.
(Thanks, Brock and jess!)
You might have seen this already, but we had to post it because, well, it's pretty funny. (In the of-course-we-don't-condone-vandalism-at-all kind of way.) It's surveillance video of the three people who damaged the horse sculpture outside Roohan Realty on Broadway in Saratoga this past weekend. (Full length from the TU and CBS6 -- a sort of highlight reel from 518L).
What gets us about this video is the way the people look like they're acting drunk: the exaggerated stumbling and tumbling, the way the cigarettes swing around in their hands, the almost forced-looking laughter. It's like drunk people parodying themselves.
The Saratoga police say they're still looking for the vandals.
We know we pledged to go easy on the RR stuff, but this is, well, it's... well, it would just be wrong not to.
Is there video? Oh, yes, there's video.
And with that, Rachael Ray World Domination Watch may have met its natural end. Thank you, you've all been wonderful.
Now, will someone else from the Capital Region please start their own personal media empire?
While wandering around the 4th floor of the State Museum recently, we noticed this bottle sitting by one of the windows. It made us laugh a little for a couple of reasons:
1. The stuff -- whatever it is -- is called "Terminator." It sounds like Formula 410 or something.
2. Something called "Terminator" is just randomly sitting out in the museum.
We poked around a little bit online to try to find out what this mystery agent might be, and this product looks like a good candidate. "A powerful and effective deodorizer and all-purpose cleaner with a crisp, fresh scent that will linger for days. Eliminates odors on contact. Ideal for use in locker rooms, meeting rooms, bathrooms, classrooms, shower rooms, closets, chutes and sick rooms."
Museums, too, apparently.
Because we know that you've just been worried sick about what Eliot Spitzer's been up to since he, you know, spitzered himself, here's a report from the steamroller himself in Time Out New York:
These days I prefer hanging out with my kids--having dinner and encouraging them to do their homework and put aside Facebook for awhile.
Client #9 answered a few other questions for TONY, including who's his favorite New Yorker (badass Teddy Roosevelt).
And the former gov's downfall continues to pay media dividends. New York mag's "Spitzer's Brain" was nominated for Cover of the Year by the American Society of Magazine Editors.
Check it out: former WRGB anchorman Brad Holbrook, who hosted the evening news with Liz Bishop from 1998 to 2001, is now one of the hosts of The Onion's fake morning show Today Now. (Here's a clip with the "author" of a no-food diet book.)
It seems like Holbrook has been headed in this direction since leaving Ch 6. He's appeared as a reporter on Law & Order -- and he's also played a doctor on two different soap operas. He's made a movie appearance, too -- in the remake of The Manchurian Candidate from a few year's back.
Funny thing, though: his IMDB resume doesn't list his time at WRGB.
Check out this illustrated map of the US by cartoonist Dorothy Gambrell. She compiled the places most frequently mentioned in Missed Connections on Craigslist for each part of the country and then worked those names into the map. (Just have a look, it'll make more sense.)
And guess which place is on the map for our part of the country: Price Chopper. We totally believe it.
The Gov appeared on a rare Friday night edition of the Colbert Report. And as Stephen Colbert pointed out, neither he nor Paterson see race.
Believe it or not, there are some people who don't visit AOA via a bookmark, RSS feed or force of habit. (Yes, shocking, we know.) Many of these people come in looking for something via Google -- and sometimes we can't help but take notice of what they're looking for.
Well, as you know, we like to help. So even though you didn't actually ask, here's the (an) answer...
You know how you can tell your campaign toward world domination is really making progress (aside, from, you know banking $18 million a year)? When the parody books start showing up. Here's how Every Freaking! Day with Rachael Ray is described on Amazon:
Hey kids! If 30-minute meals are good, wouldn't 30-second meals be even better? You bet they would! And EVERY FREAKING! DAY WITH RACHELL RAY makes this dream a reality!
The parody book goes on sale September 3. And, no, the Ray has apparently not seen it.
In other RRWDW news: viewers of the Rachael Ray talk show love Alan Alda.
We've passed this friendly-looking T-Rex countless times while driving through the southern Albany County town of Clarksville. We'd always wondered what exactly the story behind the massive beast was, so last week we stopped and chatted with owner Art Van Praag.
Three people, a woman and two men, are sitting at table in the Uncommon Grounds in Albany. The woman answers her mobile...
"What am I doing? Sitting in a bagel joint doing statistics problems with my two friends. Yeah, fun sh*t, man."
Here's the mascot race from yesterday's open house at The Track. We totally had our money on the Skidmore Thoroughbred (how could you not?), but as you'll see, it appears the fix may have been in.
Spotted this afternoon at a stoplight on Washington Ave near UAlbany.
This actually explains a lot.
In case you haven't seen it, this was the "appearance" at the Saratoga Springs High School graduation for which Calvin Morett was sentenced to three apologies.
We spotted this yesterday outside Burkes Blue Collar on Congress St in Troy. Burkes is a self-described "working class bar" with "cheap booze, nasty staff, and pretty good food."
Who says Obama has a problem with blue collar voters?