The glitter Jesus

By Amy Brozio-Andrews

glitter JesusDo you think it will multiply my money like loaves and fishes?

I have a pretty relaxed view of what's tacky, I'll admit. If it makes you happy, I'm cool with it. Mostly.

But I was stunned when I came up the escalator at Borders (Crossgates) earlier this week and saw this prominently displayed on a table.

Yes, it is a Glitter Jesus Christ Bank. A bargain at only $7.99.

Seriously, there are no words. Although I did walk past it feeling guilty, good Catholic that I am.

And so He doesn't get lonely, there are also pretty flocked reindeer dressed up with glitter and faux marabou feathers ($9.99).

glitter reindeer 1

glitter reindeer 2

And just so you can get the full experience:

glitter Jesus big


It's hard to tell, but how tall is this Jesus?

I wonder if Jesus gets a royalty on Bible sales? If he does, I bet he puts it in the bank, because I read somewhere that Jesus Saves.

I'd say it's about ten inches tall or so.

Dilemma: Get the maribou-feathered glitter reindeer, a steal at only $9.99 apiece, or put the $9.99 in the must-have Jesus bank.

Well didn't Jesus say, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moths and rust destroy - store it in a glittery effigy of me instead."?

Could this be what Depeche Mode had in mind for your own personal Jesus?
Reach out and touch faith with a shiny new quarter!

Because if Jesus stood for anything, it was the importance of aesthetic bling.

That reminds me, I gotta go throw some bibles at poor people. Palin 2012!

What religious whorehouse did Borders steal that s**t from?

There's a glitter Virgin Mary bank too- and available in magenta which somehow makes it more attracvtive and awful at the same time.

pret-ty pret-ty shi-ny shi-ny

Borders may have got Glitter Jesus from these guys...

I received a red deer as a gift today, and let me tell you, no picture could do it justice. Its unbridled fabulosity pulls a room together better than any rug ever could. What a great find!

If anyone is feeling generous feel free to send a glitter Jesus or sparkly deer my will make quite the talking point at the Holiday party. I already have that part of the tour planned out..."and over here is our Glitter Jesus and his heard of glitter reindeer. Feel free to drop your offering in the slot at the back of his head."
Plus if I had a glittery Jesus bank I might actually save money because I'd feel really guilty taking a hammer to him as has been the fate of many a piggy bank. And my grandmother would probably like it better than my "Jesus is my Homeboy" t-shirt.

Apparently your local Borders was out of stock on the purple glitter Virgin Mary bank.

I was also fond of the Virgin Mary and Jesus Bath gels....


Does anyone still have the glitter mary in pink and jesus? I would really like them for a project, but i can't find them. :(

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