Top Senator

top senator

All the buzz and speculation about who will get Hillary Clinton's Senate seat seems to be getting to David Paterson. The Gov said yesterday, "[F]rankly, this is a serious issue, which I think is starting to be treated as some sort of reality TV show. No, this is reality of life."

Hey, wait a minute. Turning this into a reality TV show might not be such a bad idea...

We're thinking this whole situation could be some quality (and, of course, slightly trashy) civic entertainment. The ingredients are certainly there. Let's call it Top Senator.

The cast
The group in the running for Clinton's seat has all the characteristics of a classic reality show cast:

+ The arrogant frat guy character: Andrew Cuomo

+ The small town up-and-comer character: Kirsten Gillibrand

+ The blue blood character: Caroline Kennedy

+ The pushy New Yorker character: Carolyn Maloney

+ The openly gay character: Randi Weingarten

+ The African-American character: Byron Brown

+ The Latino characters: Adolfo Carrion Jr and Nydia Velázquez

+ The random white guy character: Brian Higgins

+ The tell-it-like-it-is, where-I-come-from guy character: Tom Suozzi

+ The ditzy character: Fran Drescher

Throw all those people into a loft (maybe that Real World space in Red Hook) and watch the sparks fly. We'd particularly like to see Cuomo and Kennedy go at it (What did you do to my cousin?!?)

The challenges
And, of course, there have to be challenges. We're thinking a few Quick Fire type short challenges (a la Top Chef):

+ The stand in front of a gas station decrying the price of gas photo op (also known as The Schumer)

+ Milking cows on an upstate dairy farm.

And for elimination challenges:

+ Who can draft the best earmark (AKA Pork Wars).

+ Convince special guest judge Tom Golisano to help fund your 2010 election campaign.

+ Who can find their way from Angola, NY to Albany first with just $20 in cash.

We'd watch that.


In actual news about this situation:

+ Ted Kennedy is reportedly working hard behind the scenes for Caroline.

+ Mike Bloomberg seemed to issue support for Caroline Kennedy.

+ US Rep Carolyn Maloney, maybe the only person to say outright say she wants the job, has hired a political consultant close to Paterson to help her chances.

+ David Paterson said he will consider AFT president Randi Weingarten for the job.

Kennedy photo: Flickr user diggersf


Yes yes, this could work. Just so long as the final episode consists of David Paterson giving a rose to Flavor Flav, who will then turn around and propose to Tyra Banks with a giant diamond necklace clock, who will then slowly & dramatically walk up to the line of candidates and crown New York's Next Top Senator! Television gold.

I may be getting ahead of myself, but, how exactly do the emmy's work? Do you have to apply for it, or do they just give you the award, or what?

Another Quick Challenge or two:
Name the 4 most populous cities in NY.
Point to them on a map.
Bonus points if the candidate has actually *been* there.
Double bonus points if they've been there in their own car.
Triple bonus points if they think they are qualified to manage foreign policy because 'I can see Canada from my house'!

Ooh. Me likey. Now, aside from Paterson, we'd need 2 more judges. One minority woman and a nasty white guy with a British accent. Any suggestions?

I would suggest a quick challenge on naming say 25 of all of the counties in NYS with extra points for pronouncing and spelling Chatauqua and Cayuga and Rensselaer correctly. Carolyn is lovely but has yet to prove that she should receive this honor. Go with Andrew - who is both upstate and downstate or Carolyn Maloney who is not NYC but passionate and real. No more entitlements to the bored enriched elitists.

I believe there are 52 or so counties in NYS.

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