The snowbank menace
Don't let this happen to you.
As if the crow menace wasn't enough to worry about, this winter's record snowfall has brought a new threat upon us: voracious snowbanks.
We snapped this pic while walking Otto the other day. What appears to be a totally unassuming laundry basket, no doubt minding its own business waiting to be picked up with the trash, was taken into the clutches of a snowbank. We shudder to think what awfulness is going on below the surface, as this plow pile of evil digests this once-hardworking basket.
The horror.
We're not the only ones to notice the threat that runs parallel to the fair streets of our town. Fire hydrants -- those steadfast and, alas, slow moving -- fixtures, are easy targets. So greedily has the snowbank menace snapped up these spouts that a common councilman had to propose legislation in an attempt to awaken people from their complacency and confront the icy aggression. And Ashallann recently spied a distressing scene: a shopping cart, separated from its herd, fallen prey to a snowbank.
Death comes swiftly on the icy plain.
Once aware of the snowbank menace, one starts to wonder what other items now reside deep in the icy bowels. A few hardworking mailboxes have surely succumbed. There must be scores of lost gloves and scarves. And would we put it past the sinister frozen wave to consume a small dog? No, we would not. (Speaking of which, when was the last time you saw Fluffy...)
So, now you know. Be vigilant. And hope for warmer weather.
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Comments
The snowbank menace has spread to my neighborhood as well... but it's not all bad.
During the recent (tiny) thaw, I saw that the snowbanks have absorbed a huge amount of trash and dog poo... which makes me wonder if we can harness their powers for good, not evil. Maybe we can reason with these cold-hearted aggressors and have them join us in cleaning up our pretty-disgusting neighborhoods!
... said SiobhanK524 on Mar 3, 2011 at 11:09 AM | link
A few winters ago I lost my ID badge for work and couldn't find it anywhere. I searched for days and days until I finally relented and had a new one made up at my job. Then the winter thaw came upon us and low and behold...there was my ID sticking out of the snowbank across the street from my house...mocking me...It is now hung in the kitchen of my house...silently laughing at my only defeat in the game of hide and seek.
... said Lwoodbluz on Mar 3, 2011 at 11:40 AM | link
During the thaw we had in the beginning of the week, a ton of water and half-melted slush decided to congregate right in front of our steps. My husband did the best he could to clear it out, but the next night it all froze solid. Now it's a lumpy, slippery, icy mess that sort of resembles a mini-himalayas. We've tried chopping it up with shovels, ice chippers and lots of swear words, but we can't get it all. I've had enough. I'm done! But yay, March is here. Parade day, almost one week away!
On a fun note, look at what this guy did.
... said Summer on Mar 3, 2011 at 11:40 AM | link
Once in my old neighborhood, after a long winter with heavy accumulation and frequent camaraderie as neighbors shoveled each other out, the spring melt revealed two unopened six packs of beer. Well-chilled.
... said KM on Mar 3, 2011 at 2:28 PM | link
The most interesting thing I've found so far were two sets of bright orange fake vampire teeth.
... said Diana on Mar 3, 2011 at 2:32 PM | link
Just wait until the Christmas tree carcasses start to surface ... eeeeew.
... said Colleen on Mar 3, 2011 at 3:00 PM | link
A snowbank ate my cellphone earlier this winter, much to my dismay. Luckily I found it sitting in my driveway during the last thaw, and it still works! Hurrah for the preservative nature of snow and the durability of modern electronics!
... said M. on Mar 3, 2011 at 4:07 PM | link
Love this!
One year, we lost our Christmas tree. We set it by the curb on pickup night during a snowfall. Between the season's continuing storms and the plows piling more snow on the curb, it was April before we discovered our tree was still there.
... said Akum on Mar 3, 2011 at 4:36 PM | link
Our snow bank ate the payment for our life insurance policy!! It fell off the mailbox and disappeared for three months. Thank God we had accidentally paid ahead and the policy wasn't cancelled. Boy, did I ever feel dumb making that call…
... said Rose on Mar 3, 2011 at 10:01 PM | link
I like when the snow banks start to recede and we get to see what pet owners do with dog excrement in the winter:leave it in a snow bank.
... said Aaron on Mar 4, 2011 at 9:40 AM | link
If it eats the dog poop on Western and Lake from the dog owners who live at the New Eloise...well, I say keep those snow monsters growing and please please please don't thaw. EVER!
I love winter and I DON'T like emerging melty dog poo on top of dog poo.
... said Laura on Mar 4, 2011 at 9:48 AM | link
A snowbank once ate my car keys. I used my spare for a few months, and was surprised to find my original set during the thaw.
This year I'm looking forward to finding our backyard fireplace. I *know* it's out there.
... said Kerosena on Mar 4, 2011 at 11:21 AM | link