Craig and his wonderful list

craigslist catskill game farm signThe good thing about Craigslist: It's a window into our fellow community members' wants, needs and aspirations. The bad thing about Craigslist: It's a window into our fellow community members' wants, needs and aspirations.


Good or bad, we'll let you decide...

If ever there was an "upstate" genre of porn, this could probably be filed there.

"If you're Jamie, the girl with the TARDIS tattoo, I want to take you out on a date."

All that detail and he doesn't specify the type of food?

It's very possible this is the first-ever scrapyard Albany missed connection.

"You were with a friend that almost took my chicken nuggets."

Well... that's very Rear Window-ish... or something.

"I almost hoped you would slip on the ice so I could help you up..."

That must have been some bathrobe.

"Also tell silent Bob to take a bath. He smells like onions."

Finally, someone happy about a roundabout fender bender.

How game geeks flirt.

Unlike his sense of smell, his attractiveness survived the surfing accident.

"I am looking for someone male or female to chat with that wishes they could be shrunk to a few inches tall..."

Remember, if someone ever asks, "Is there a fetish for (fill in the blank)?" -- the answer is always "yes."

Maybe the Thruway Authority should consider a toll collector of the month calendar.

Meta: "You come to craigslist to pass a note under the table like in gradeschool."

"How about a good looking nude or semi nude fit trainer to get your heart rate going..."

And on the back of the painting is a map to a long-lost treasure... oh, wait, this isn't a movie.

There are nice people!

Random items available

For sale: a vintage Catskill Game Farm sign ($475)

For sale: an old pot belly stove ($200)

For sale: a church pew, "I have had it for 25 years and always gets use and comments." ($100)

For sale: cargo containers ($1750)

For sale: an 1868 dairy barn ($80,000)

For sale: a mini Alpine buck goat ($75)
____

photo: Craigslist item "VINTAGE CATSKILL GAME FARM SIGN"

Comments

i kinda want the catskill game farm sign, but i'd end up annoying myself to death singing the jingle....you'll find adventure, at catskill game farm, adventure is in our nature

sorry

There are a few Craigslist ads on this post that are just gross.

The anonymous author of "Scrape And Plow: I Need More" should be recognized for his poetic genius. I have taken the liberty of putting his work in verse form so as to make his clear and devastating style more apparent.

Scrape and Plow: I Need More

I started scraping your car
out of politeness, but didn't realize you
were naked under your coat.

The more I scraped, the more
you showed me thru the windshield
and driver side window.

Your boobs are wonderful,
your nipples enormous and amazing.
You opened the passenger door
and crawled into the back seat.

I stopped scraping
and plowed you hard and fast there.
You cried but wanted me to finish.

You ate a McDonalds cheeseburger and smoked
and told me I reminded you of your uncle.
I would really like to reconnect and
possibly
plow you again.

I will wear a Fedora.

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