Drawing: Craig Ferguson at Troy Music Hall
Drawing's closed! Winner's been emailed!
Comedian Craig Ferguson will be at the Troy Music Hall this Sunday, September 27 for a stand-up show. We have a pair of tickets. And they could be your pair of tickets.
To enter the drawing, please answer this in the comments:
Tell us all a joke.
One-liner, knock-knock, very short story, whatever. Goofy, groan-inducing joke? Even better. We've done this before for drawings and it's bit a lot of fun.
The Craig Ferguson show at Troy Music Hall is at 8 pm Sunday. Tickets are $37 and up.
Important: All comments must be submitted by 11:59 pm on Thursday, September 24, 2015 to be entered in the drawing. You must answer the question to be part of the drawing. (Normal commenting guidelines apply.) One entry per person, please. You must enter a valid email address (that you check regularly) with your comment. The winner will be notified via email by 9 am on Friday and must respond by 5 pm that same day.
Troy Music Hall advertises on AOA.
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Comments
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...all it was doing was collecting dust.
... said RR on Sep 24, 2015 at 10:47 AM | link
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
... said BB on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:06 AM | link
What's red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.
... said Jackers on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:07 AM | link
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!
... said Chris H. on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:15 AM | link
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef!
... said LM on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:17 AM | link
Why did Ariel, the Little Mermaid, wear seashells?
The B-shells didn't fit.
[Ba-dum-tsh.]
... said Alex on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:33 AM | link
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Cash!
Cash who?
No thanks, I’m allergic to nuts!
... said Ron on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:41 AM | link
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in-tents!
... said Sarah on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:45 AM | link
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9
... said AS on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:52 AM | link
Why did the lettuce blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing!
... said Liz on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:57 AM | link
I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
... said Joseph Fusco on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:00 PM | link
A sailor sits down at the bar and orders a drink. He looks to his left and there's a pirate with a peg leg, hook hand, and eye patch.
The sailor asks how the leg was lost. "A gator ripped off me leg while burying gold in Florida."
He asks next how he lost his hand. "A shark bit ma hand off while I was throwing the gator into the sea."
Amazed at the pirate's bravery, he asked how the man lost his eye. "A seagull pooped in me eye."
The sailor was shocked and asked, "a bird pooped in your eye and you lost it??"
The pirate said, "it was my first day with the hook."
... said s on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:12 PM | link
Why did the punk rocker cross the road? He had a chicken stapled to his head.
... said Barold on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:13 PM | link
What's the difference between an In-Law and an Out-law?
One of them is actually wanted.
... said steveP on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:18 PM | link
What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
... said Sabrina on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:20 PM | link
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because the “P†is silent.
... said Brett Glasser on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:20 PM | link
What happened when the prostitute approached the plainclothes policeman?
Her proposition ended in a sentence.
... said Jeremy on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:20 PM | link
I recently went to see the doctor to have a physical done. The doctor said he needed a urine sample, a blood sample and stool sample. I said doc, can I just give you my underwear?
... said ace on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:33 PM | link
2 antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent.
... said Valentina on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:36 PM | link
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
No need to cry, it's just a joke!
... said Scott M L on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:36 PM | link
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the ugly guy's house.
Knock knock... (who's there?) It's the chicken.
... said Sarah on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:44 PM | link
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P†is silent!
... said Jen on Sep 24, 2015 at 12:51 PM | link
Why does Pope Francis go to the gym?
He likes to look good when he pontiflexes.
... said Jessica R W on Sep 24, 2015 at 1:13 PM | link
When is a door not a door?
When it is AJAR !
... said mike on Sep 24, 2015 at 1:35 PM | link
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Banana
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Orange, you glad I didn't say banana.
... said Kelly on Sep 24, 2015 at 2:16 PM | link
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?"
... said Kate on Sep 24, 2015 at 2:32 PM | link
Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
... said Max on Sep 24, 2015 at 3:20 PM | link
When is a gynecological exam a religious experience?
When its a Papal visit.
... said Michelle on Sep 24, 2015 at 3:44 PM | link
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little Boogie into it!
... said Meggy on Sep 24, 2015 at 4:26 PM | link
How can you tell if someone is a vegan?
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
... said William G on Sep 24, 2015 at 4:50 PM | link
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!
... said Dan on Sep 24, 2015 at 5:00 PM | link
The midget fortune teller who kills his customers is a small medium at large.
... said Kirk on Sep 24, 2015 at 5:45 PM | link
The woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitars.
The judge asked "First offender?"
She replied "No, first a Gibson, second a Fender."
... said V. on Sep 24, 2015 at 5:58 PM | link
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
One's very heavy, the other's a little lighter!
... said Ritam on Sep 24, 2015 at 7:40 PM | link
When Tartan McScottish came back from his first trip to London, everyone in the village was keen to find out how he got on.
Town folk: Did you like it?
Tartan: Oh, it was no' bad.
Town folk: As good as that, Was it?
Tartan: Well, there was just the one thing wrong. The other guests in my hotel just would not go to their beds. They were in the corridor ouside my room shouting and banging on my door untill three o'clock in the morning.
Town folk: So what did you do, Tartan?
Tartan: Och, I just kept on playing my bagpipes.
... said Emily on Sep 24, 2015 at 9:36 PM | link
Why are there fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in!
... said Sean on Sep 24, 2015 at 9:46 PM | link
What's the difference between a well dressed man on a tricycle and a casually dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire!
... said Ed on Sep 24, 2015 at 10:50 PM | link
I travel all over the world, but always stay in my corner. What am I?
A stamp.
... said Alana on Sep 24, 2015 at 11:00 PM | link
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
Bunny farts!!!
... said Jeff Tehan on Sep 25, 2015 at 9:31 AM | link