The Deep Fried Hamburger at Swifty's

swifty's deep fried burger

It sounds like something out of myth. But it's real.

By Daniel B.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

The time to eat a deep fried hamburger is now.

In a few months it will be spring, and the warmer weather will be an unwelcome reminder that swimsuit season is around the corner. That will be your chance to start eating healthier -- when the asparagus starts to peek its head from the soil. That will be the time to go to the gym and shed that winter weight.

Now we are in the depths of winter. Now you need a little more meat on your bones. Now is the time for fatty beef. Now is the time for fried foods. Now is the time to head to Swifty's and put those two things together in one marvelous burger.

Did I mention that it is also drenched in butter?

"Do not be intimidated by this one-of-a-kind burger" is what the menu says. Now, I don't intimidate easily. Do you know what's not intimidating? A grilled cheese sandwich. There is also nothing scary about a BLT. There is no reason to tell people not to be intimidated by these things.

You only need to tell people not to fear things that are inherently scary. And this monster of a half-pound of ground fresh steak, that is battered, deep fried until golden and crisp and dipped in Buffalo sauce is daunting. Forget that it comes with house-made Irish chips (aka potato chips) or French fries. Forget that it also is served with a creamy blue cheese spiked dressing on the side.

When the burger arrives, and you are staring right into its burnished Buffalo-sauce soaked crust, and the luscious beefy juices that are being soaked up by the bottom bun, it's intimidating.

swifty's deep fried burger cut in half

First I cut it down the center. While this served to make the beast more manageable, it also allowed me to check the interior temperature. I order my burgers rare to make sure they are pink all the way through. And thankfully this was cooked within an acceptable range.

I had really hoped that this unholy creature would be terrible. I would have also settled for overwrought. A temptation like this I do not need in my life. And I had serious doubts about how Buffalo sauce would pair with beef. I do love all things Buffalo, but when it comes to burgers in my heart of hearts, I'm a purist. In my mind, the best burgers don't require anything else besides a bun. Although sometimes I'll embellish one with some raw red onion, ripe in-season tomato, and a crisp tart pickle.

But after my first bite I was in love. Love is a word I don't use lightly.

swifty's deep fried burger closeup

Is it heavy? You better believe it. Savory beef juices, buttery Buffalo sauce and the burger's crispy fried coating slide their way over the tongue and go straight to the pleasure centers in the brain. Add some creamy dressing studded with crumbles of blue cheese if you dare.

The experience of a battered and fried burger is as eye-opening as having a Pittsburgh-style sandwich for the first time. That is, one where the French fries are actually put inside the sandwich. As strange as it may sound, it turns out to be absolutely delightful.

Despite my initial apprehension, bite after bite this unusual burger was becoming much less intimidating. I found myself dipping it into an extra pot of Buffalo sauce and then double dipping it into the creamy dressing. The exterior crust stayed crispy and delicious. And when it was done, I had to call Albany Jane and tell her about my new-found love.

I can't wait to get back for another one.

Thankfully Swifty's has only one location, so they aren't required by law to show the calorie count of this burger on the menu. If ignorance is bliss and the Buffalo burger is bliss, then this is bliss squared.

As long as you've abandoned your resolution to eat healthier, before you leave Delmar remember there are cupcakes at the bakery across the street.

A tip of the hat to Mr. Dave for spotting this burger.

Daniel B. is the proprietor of the Fussy Little Blog.

Find It

Swifty's Restaurant and Pub
367 Delaware Ave
Delmar, NY 12054

Comments

The more of these "Forget the Resolution" posts I read, the more I want to cheat on my resolution!

Hmm. I don't know about this one. It doesn't seem very appetizing to me. However, I read this post on a full stomach, unlike the Uncle Dan's Diner post from earlier this morning.

Oh my god, you guys have got to stop the "Forget the Resolution" posts. My cholesterol has already gone up 50 points just from reading them.

And a deep-fried burger? The only way that could be more magical is if it were made out of griffin meat and topped with unicorn bacon.

I agree with Summer. I am much better equipped to resist these temptations when you post the stories after a major meal. :-)

Oh my goodness.You might not want to eat here if you take a look at the Albany County restaurant inspections site. Wow.

Editors: Here's the report.

That is why I don't look.

If you took a close look at the operations of a large industrial slaughterhouse you would reconsider eating meat. And if you put your fruits and vegetables under a microscope and saw all the bacteria and other microorganisms that were swarming on its surface, you would give up food entirely.

Bad on Swifty's for not running a cleaner operation. I suspect their next report will be better (much like Yono's turned around their bad report from 2008). But food isn't clean. Food is dirty. People who want clean food would have us irradiate everything. And I for one think that's a terrible idea.

Our healthy bodies are miraculous food cleaning machines. We have kidneys and livers and gallbladders.

And despite all odds, my rare burger didn't make me ill in the slightest.

Back in San Francisco, I had two favorite dim sum places in Chinatown. I affectionately referred to them as the dirty one, and the very dirty one. It turns out that in 2006 the very dirty one got a score from the department of public health of 33 (out of 100). Subsequent years they rebounded and scored in the 80s.

Maybe I was lucky, but the food there never made me sick.

The health department has a very important job. And I don't mean to make light of significant lapses in sanitation. But if a restaurant is actually dangerous, it will be shut down.

As far as I'm concerned, the only thing dangerous about Swifty's is my desire to go back for another deep fried hamburger and the impact it will have on my lipid panel.

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