All Over Albany

The Vermonster

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

Forget the resolution week is just about over. Still have room for dessert?

Oh, come on -- it's just a little ice cream.

Well, maybe a little more than a little.

Get ready to take on... The Vermonster!

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Counting calories at The Cheesecake Factory

A palace of calories.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

No one entering a place called "The Cheesecake Factory" has any business thinking they're about to eat anything remotely healthy. But even with that in mind, we were rather taken aback when the chain started included calories counts on its menus (as all chains are now required to do in Albany County). It's one thing to know the food is a sometimes-only indulgence -- it's another to see the actual calorie counts.

So, given that the whole premise of Forget the Resolution week is to totally blow out any notion of healthy eating, we figured a trip to The Factory was in order.

Our mission was simple: find, order and eat the dish with the most number of calories.

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Fajita nachos at Pancho's

A snack that eats like a meal.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

This year I joined the mass of Americans that makes a New Year's resolution to become fit and healthy.

I recently reached a fairly minor milestone, so I figured I deserved a "cheat meal." But I couldn't figure out how to reward myself without going completely overboard.
 
So I gave my brother, my accomplice in overeating, a call; he reminded me of the mixed fajita nachos at Pancho's Mexican Restaurant in Colonie. The nachos consist of the same ingredients in a fajita platter spread over freshly fried corn tortilla chips and covered with copious amounts of melted white cheese. The portion is plentiful and is easily enough for a hefty snack for two.
 
That was it. I was going to Pancho's to order my very own plate of mixed fajita nachos.

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"Philly Steak" at Morrette's

Filling up on potato skins is a rookie mistake.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

Nothing says "I'm sick of this diet" like eating a pound of beef covered in cheese. Well, unless you're on the Atkins diet.

So if that's the case, add a side of fried potato skins drenched in cheese sauce and bacon and you've got yourself a meal suitable for Forget the Resolution week.

I found this spread at Morrette's -- the local landmark in Schenectady.

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Chicharrones at Mr. Pio Pio

Fattacular.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

When AOA asked me to come up with something special for its Forget the Resolution week, I thought: "But I eat like that most of the time I go out." I mean, what better way to celebrate the very act of dining out than going whole hog and ordering with abandon?

While I might be remiss in these thoughts, the first thing that immediately sprung to mind for a fattacular, resolution-killing dish was chicharrones.

Deep. Fried. Pork.

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The Deep Fried Hamburger at Swifty's

It sounds like something out of myth. But it's real.

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

The time to eat a deep fried hamburger is now.

In a few months it will be spring, and the warmer weather will be an unwelcome reminder that swimsuit season is around the corner. That will be your chance to start eating healthier -- when the asparagus starts to peek its head from the soil. That will be the time to go to the gym and shed that winter weight.

Now we are in the depths of winter. Now you need a little more meat on your bones. Now is the time for fatty beef. Now is the time for fried foods. Now is the time to head to Swifty's and put those two things together in one marvelous burger.

Did I mention that it is also drenched in butter?

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Akum vs. The Machine at Uncle Dan's Diner

You know it's serious when an order requires multiple condiments.

So, you resolved at the start of this year to eat less/eat better/lose weight/exercise more/be healthier/whatever. And good for you -- that's very admirable. But it's almost the end of February. You've given it a good shot. Maybe it's time for you to tell that resolution to go, ahem, "forget" itself. All this week on AOA: foods that will send that resolution to its timely end (or at least sidetrack it). It'll be more fun this way.

If you're going to blow your diet, you'd better start it off right. Start with breakfast.

And not just any breakfast. The largest, most all-encompassing, most alarming breakfast in the Capital Region.

The Machine.

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