All Over Albany

Counting calories at The Cheesecake Factory

It's Forget the Resolution week on AOA: a whole lineup of foods that can send your New Year's resolution to eat better/eat less/exercise more/lose weight to its timely end.

No one entering a place called "The Cheesecake Factory" has any business thinking they're about to eat anything remotely healthy. But even with that in mind, we were rather taken aback when the chain started included calories counts on its menus (as all chains are now required to do in Albany County). It's one thing to know the food is a sometimes-only indulgence -- it's another to see the actual calorie counts.

So, given that the whole premise of Forget the Resolution week is to totally blow out any notion of healthy eating, we figured a trip to The Factory was in order.

Our mission was simple: find, order and eat the dish with the most number of calories.

The federal government recommends that an adult should eat about 2,000 calories per day (a bit more for men, a little less for women -- all depending on physical activity). So, knowing what TCF is capable of, we were really hoping to land a dish north of the 3,000 calorie mark. That would be about 150 percent of a day's calories in one dish.

The winner, after scanning the novella-length menu: "Bistro Shrimp Pasta," which clocks in at 2730 calories. It's impressive total, but Cheesecake -- we were really expecting more out of you.

Amazingly, this caloric chart-topper includes, of all things, arugula. Really. From the menu:

Crispy Battered Shrimp, Fresh Mushrooms, Tomato and Arugula Tossed with Spaghettini and a Basil-Garlic-Lemon Cream Sauce.

When our order arrives at the table, we take a moment to admire the sight of what appears to be roughly a pound of pasta in cream sauce with battered shrimp. It looks like enough to feed a family of four.

We dig in. The shrimp is nicely cooked and its breading is, surprisingly, rather restrained. The cream sauce doesn't taste heavy. The spaghetti is a bit overcooked and a little clumpy in places. The veg doesn't taste like much, though the arugula does add some needed pepperiness. The whole dish isn't bad -- it's just not that great, either. For all those calories, it was strangely bland, like it needed acid, spice, something. There wasn't much bang for the (caloric) buck.

There were two of us working on the dish and we put a sizable dent into it before calling it quits (though there was still enough for a generous leftover portion).

But here's the thing: we could have kept eating. Really, it didn't feel like we had eaten that much, even though we probably each had put away about 1,000 calories. Whatever they've done to the food (and we're not sure we want to know), it makes the calories goes down easy. Way too easy.

And that brings us back to the calorie counts. As much as they kill the indulgence buzz, the counts are helpful. Even though our stomachs were telling us "There's more room! Keep going! Don't stop!" -- our heads, calorie counts in mind, were saying "Whoa! Hold up!" Which is pretty much the point.

Score one for the calorie counts. Now, who's up for some cheesecake?

Also from Forget the Resolution week:
+ Akum vs. The Machine at Uncle Dan's Diner
+ The Deep Fried Hamburger at Swifty's
+ Chicharrones at Mr. Pio Pio
+ "Philly Steak" at Morrette's
+ Fajita nachos at Pancho's