All Over Albany

Saratoga horse vandals to bask in glow of basic cable spotlight

The Saratoga horse vandals will be featured tonight during a show on the cable channel TruTV (it's what Court TV is now called).

The show is called Most Daring, the tagline for which is "Ordinary People in Extraordinary Danger." But the show actually seems to be more like a reality take on "Ow! My Balls!" with a Chilean stripper or two thrown in for good measure. So, it looks like these people should fit right in. It starts at 9 pm.

Earlier on AOA: Horse vandals get treatment they deserve

Daniel Nester's fake bake

Daniel Nester, the CSR professor who recently stirred things up with a piece about IVF, is back in the Daily Beast this week with an account of his journey into the tanning culture of Albany:

Albany, N.Y., is an indoor tanning mecca, a hotbed of hot beds. There are more than 800 tanning salons in the greater capital region. Four-term Albany Mayor Jerry Jennings presides over ribbon-cuttings with a year-round bronze. At the historically Catholic college where I teach, students grow more preternaturally orange as winter progresses.

I have never fit in here. I was pasty-faced even for Brooklyn, and when I moved to this tanner's Valhalla I became even more freakishly white. And so, half anxious to fit in, half curious to learn the appeal, I decided to embark on an experiment in which I would join the ranks of the fake-baked to see how a deep, midwinter tan could change my life.

Noted: smelling "like a french fry" not the best way to seduce wife.

photo: The Daily Beast

Overheard Sunday afternoon

Two younger adults, a woman and man, are sitting in the Panera at Crossgates Commons. After an accounting of many drunken escapades, the woman concludes:

"What people don't understand is that it's totally accepted in my profession to be drunk at work -- or to leave work and come back drunk."

The glitter Jesus

Do you think it will multiply my money like loaves and fishes?

I have a pretty relaxed view of what's tacky, I'll admit. If it makes you happy, I'm cool with it. Mostly.

But I was stunned when I came up the escalator at Borders (Crossgates) earlier this week and saw this prominently displayed on a table.

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Scenes from a breakdown

New York Now has put together a highlight reel from yesterday's bizarre leaders meeting at the Capitol (though "lowlight" might actually be the better word).

Watch as David Paterson talks about auditory hallucinations, Sheldon Silver steams as Jimmy Tedisco tries to lecture him, and Malcolm Smith gives Dean Skelos the hand.

You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll wonder how our state government became an episode of the Jerry Spring Show.

The folks at New York Now promise more clips and analysis on this week's show, which airs Friday at 7:30 pm on WMHT (it also repeats Sunday 11 am and 11 pm).

(Thanks, Matt!)

Horse vandals get treatment they deserve

After Brock suggested that the video of the Saratoga formal wear horse vandals should be sped up and set to the Benny Hill theme, Sebastien made it happen. This will make you laugh:

Formal Vandals - Saratoga Springs, NY - 08, Nov from Sébastien B. on Vimeo.

Big thanks to Sebastien!

By they way: the original video popped up on the Oddball segment of Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Friday.

(Thanks, Brock and jess!)

Drinking, formal wear and fake horses don't mix

Yeah, this isn't embarrassing. At all.

You might have seen this already, but we had to post it because, well, it's pretty funny. (In the of-course-we-don't-condone-vandalism-at-all kind of way.) It's surveillance video of the three people who damaged the horse sculpture outside Roohan Realty on Broadway in Saratoga this past weekend. (Full length from the TU and CBS6 -- a sort of highlight reel from 518L).

What gets us about this video is the way the people look like they're acting drunk: the exaggerated stumbling and tumbling, the way the cigarettes swing around in their hands, the almost forced-looking laughter. It's like drunk people parodying themselves.

The Saratoga police say they're still looking for the vandals.

(Thanks, M!)

He's everywhere!

Who knew?

This Joe guy is just everywhere these days.

We have no words for what Rachael Ray did to this ear of corn

The Ray goes about her task with enthusiasm.

We know we pledged to go easy on the RR stuff, but this is, well, it's... well, it would just be wrong not to.

Is there video? Oh, yes, there's video.

And with that, Rachael Ray World Domination Watch may have met its natural end. Thank you, you've all been wonderful.

Now, will someone else from the Capital Region please start their own personal media empire?

Terminator

I'll be back... to deodorize.

While wandering around the 4th floor of the State Museum recently, we noticed this bottle sitting by one of the windows. It made us laugh a little for a couple of reasons:

1. The stuff -- whatever it is -- is called "Terminator." It sounds like Formula 410 or something.

2. Something called "Terminator" is just randomly sitting out in the museum.

We poked around a little bit online to try to find out what this mystery agent might be, and this product looks like a good candidate. "A powerful and effective deodorizer and all-purpose cleaner with a crisp, fresh scent that will linger for days. Eliminates odors on contact. Ideal for use in locker rooms, meeting rooms, bathrooms, classrooms, shower rooms, closets, chutes and sick rooms."

Museums, too, apparently.

What's Eliot Spitzer up to?

Because we know that you've just been worried sick about what Eliot Spitzer's been up to since he, you know, spitzered himself, here's a report from the steamroller himself in Time Out New York:

These days I prefer hanging out with my kids--having dinner and encouraging them to do their homework and put aside Facebook for awhile.

Client #9 answered a few other questions for TONY, including who's his favorite New Yorker (badass Teddy Roosevelt).

And the former gov's downfall continues to pay media dividends. New York mag's "Spitzer's Brain" was nominated for Cover of the Year by the American Society of Magazine Editors.

Brad Holbrook on the Onion

Holbrook plays "Jim" for the Onion

Check it out: former WRGB anchorman Brad Holbrook, who hosted the evening news with Liz Bishop from 1998 to 2001, is now one of the hosts of The Onion's fake morning show Today Now. (Here's a clip with the "author" of a no-food diet book.)

It seems like Holbrook has been headed in this direction since leaving Ch 6. He's appeared as a reporter on Law & Order -- and he's also played a doctor on two different soap operas. He's made a movie appearance, too -- in the remake of The Manchurian Candidate from a few year's back.

Funny thing, though: his IMDB resume doesn't list his time at WRGB.

(Thanks, Kristi!)

Meet markets across America

Check out this illustrated map of the US by cartoonist Dorothy Gambrell. She compiled the places most frequently mentioned in Missed Connections on Craigslist for each part of the country and then worked those names into the map. (Just have a look, it'll make more sense.)

And guess which place is on the map for our part of the country: Price Chopper. We totally believe it.

David Paterson on the Colbert Report

The Gov appeared on a rare Friday night edition of the Colbert Report. And as Stephen Colbert pointed out, neither he nor Paterson see race.

You didn't actually ask, but...

Believe it or not, there are some people who don't visit AOA via a bookmark, RSS feed or force of habit. (Yes, shocking, we know.) Many of these people come in looking for something via Google -- and sometimes we can't help but take notice of what they're looking for.

Well, as you know, we like to help. So even though you didn't actually ask, here's the (an) answer...

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Every (Freaking!) Day with Rachael Ray

You know how you can tell your campaign toward world domination is really making progress (aside, from, you know banking $18 million a year)? When the parody books start showing up. Here's how Every Freaking! Day with Rachael Ray is described on Amazon:

Hey kids! If 30-minute meals are good, wouldn't 30-second meals be even better? You bet they would! And EVERY FREAKING! DAY WITH RACHELL RAY makes this dream a reality!

The parody book goes on sale September 3. And, no, the Ray has apparently not seen it.

In other RRWDW news: viewers of the Rachael Ray talk show love Alan Alda.

The last dinosaur in Clarksville

What the...? Hey, is that a giant dinosaur on that lawn?

We've passed this friendly-looking T-Rex countless times while driving through the southern Albany County town of Clarksville. We'd always wondered what exactly the story behind the massive beast was, so last week we stopped and chatted with owner Art Van Praag.

(there's more)

Overheard at the bagel place

Three people, a woman and two men, are sitting at table in the Uncommon Grounds in Albany. The woman answers her mobile...

"What am I doing? Sitting in a bagel joint doing statistics problems with my two friends. Yeah, fun sh*t, man."

And down the stretch they come!

Here's the mascot race from yesterday's open house at The Track. We totally had our money on the Skidmore Thoroughbred (how could you not?), but as you'll see, it appears the fix may have been in.

Electioneering on Washington Ave

But how will the ticket go over with the all-important swing muggles?