All Over Albany

Putting the pal in principal

Everyone makes mistakes. And copyediting mistakes are especially easy to make (AOA is ongoing proof of that). But this one, from a job listing for the Saratoga Springs High School principal position, is a tough one:

Perhaps the district is looking for a principled principal.

We took that screenshot Sunday evening. To the poster's credit, the listing was fixed today.

[via Sara]

Earlier on AOA: Something malfunctioned

Take a good look

New York State's problems with political corruption came up during this past weekend's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me -- and the panel ended up cracking on Albany (at the 4:10 mark):

Paula Poundstone: It must sort of smart a bit when you realize how hard your worked to get there... Before someone runs for office in New York, they should probably make them go look at Albany...

Peter Sagal: See what they think...

Poundstone: Yeah, exactly...

Sagal: It'd be like a scare-straight program for potential politicians.

Poundstone will be able to get a good look for herself in April. She's playing the Troy Savings Bank Music Hall April 24.

We're guessing it won't hurt that badly.

[via @amymengel]

photo: Paula Poundstone

The Balloon Room

How could you not smile in a room full of balloons?

When Burnt Hills' Cindy Gotobed wants a party, she doesn't mess around.

For the past five years she and her family have hosted a Balloon Room party in their living room for her kids and their friends. What's a balloon room party, you ask? Only 1000 inflated balloons packed into your living room.

Why? It's 1000 inflated balloons packed into your living room.

(there's more)

Is this your pig?

Here's something to ponder this Friday afternoon. Martin emails today:

My wife and I woke up this morning to find a giant, stuffed-animal pig in our backyard. We have absolutely no idea where it came from, how it got there, or why it suddenly arrived in our yard.

We live in Pine Hills, so there's always some kind of shenanigans going on... but this?!

Martin says the pig is about three feet tall. He and his wife are looking for suggestions about what they should do with it.

We vote for adoption.

There's no such thing as a free...

See store for details.

We noticed this sign while walking past the Hollywood Video at University Plaza in Albany today.

We think it refers to free DVD rentals. Probably.

Stop picking your nose

Well, alright, then.

Emails CJ:

I thought perhaps I had hallucinated this billboard when I saw it last weekend, caught without my camera, and I despaired for my sanity when several attempts to view it during the week presented me with no such public-spirited reminder. But yesterday afternoon, there it was again, tucked in among the countdown to Christmas and ads for a nightclub -- a special request from Lamar for drivers along I-787 to stop picking their noses.

(This is one of the new electronic billboards along I-787, just north of the Corning Preserve boat launch.)

Now that New York State has a ban on texting-while-driving, we can only hope our legislators will take up the issue of a picking-while-driving ban.

(Thanks, CJ!)

photo: Carl Johnson

How to survive the impending zombie uprising

Humorist Max Brooks will be at Sage this Wednesday night sharing tips on how to survive a zombie uprising. From the Sage blurb (links and emphasis added):

The Sage College of Albany welcomes Max Brooks, novelist, humorist, renowned Zombie preparedness expert and authority on the truth and myths surrounding the undead. The evening will include a reading from new materials, a chance for audience members to ask questions, followed by a book signing.

Brooks is the best-selling author of The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War. His books outline ways to not only escape a Zombie attack, but shares techniques that allow the reader to defensively prepare for whats to come.

Brooks, who's the son of Mel Brooks, has a new book: The Zombie Survival Guide: Recorded Attacks.

The talk starts at 9 pm in the Kahl Campus Center Gym at the Albany campus on New Scotland Ave. It's $5.

(Thanks, Jess!)

Earlier on AOA: Photos from Zombie Walk 2009

photo: Patrick Dodson

Colonial Car Wash / Salad Bar

A rinse for cars and leafy greens?

I don't know how many times I have driven by the Colonial Car Wash on Western Avenue, only to scratch my head in confusion. Under the Colonial sign, there is another sign advertising...wait for it... a free "Salad Bar."

A salad bar at a car wash? Kind of makes you go hmmm, right?

Yeah, me too. So last week, when I was craving some veggies and an express wash, I decided to check it out.

(there's more)

Paterson loses key mustache demographic

One issue not covered by that Siena poll: the gubernatorial 'stache, which is -- sadly -- no more.

Laments the American Mustache Institute after David Paterson appeared completely clean shaven today:

As one of the only Mustached American U.S. governors, Gov. Patterson would have certainly been a fine candidate for the prestigious "Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year" honor, which will be awarded at 'Stache Bash 2009 featuring John Oates on Oct. 30 in St. Louis.

But the Governor's calous, selfish, and ignorant act has done a great disservice to people of Mustached American descent who were willing to support him in his reelection efforts. Now, more than likely, our community will shun him, and in an election year, it was a decision that was clearly made without great thought.

As it happens, "people of Mustached American descent" was the only demographic still supporting David Paterson.

[via @tenacioustj]

photo: ny.gov

Dan Nester's thighs are decompressing

St. Rose English professor Dan Nester has a piece today at L Magazine on his week-long experiment in wearing skinny jeans:

In the 1992 comedy classic Wayne's World, Rob Lowe's character, Benjamin Kane, asks Dana Carvey's Garth Algar how he likes new set for their show. "It's like a new pair of underwear," Garth says to blank stares. "At first it's constrictive, but after a while it becomes a part of you."

You could say my skinny jeans have started to become a part of me. Not! They have loosened up, around my muffin-top waist. My ass has grown accustomed to being presented out in public. But then there's the pain.

Perhaps it's psychosomatic, but I have begun to feel a slight tingle in my inner thigh. This, I fear, could be an early symptom of Tingling Thigh Syndrome, which is not a joke, but rather a real ailment that doctors have reported can potentially be caused by the wearing of skinny jeans, the extreme pressure of which can constrict the femoral nerves that run from groin to outer thigh to knee, leading to a condition known as meralgia paresthetica, Latin for "tragically hip with your balls in a vice."

Dan has a book coming out soon. How to Be Inappriopriate hits shelves (and UPS trucks) November 1.

Earlier on AOA: Dan Nester's Watchful Analysis of New Growth

photo: Rob O'Neill / Dan Nester

All hail the gubernatorial 'stache

As you might have heard, David Paterson recently shaved off his beard -- but kept his mustache. The governor joked that it was part of cutbacks in the state.

The American Mustache Institute (warning: that site plays music) hailed Paterson's decision. From a letter to sent to the Paterson administration, congratulating the now 'stached governor:

You see, the beard or goatee represent what is known in the facial hair community as the "spousal compromise," which is the half-way meeting point between the utter weakness of the clean shaven and the sheer, unvarnished power of the Mustached American. It's where your spouse says to you,"My dear, I cannot manage the sheer awesomeness of that mustache. But a beard or goatee -- I could deal with that." Hence, the "spousal compromise."

Understand, however, what your new mustache means. As a freshly minted Mustached American in a position of authority, you represent much more than simply the good people of New York. You now represent a community of downtrodden Americans - people of Mustached American descent - for whom you stand as a sign that we are not only fit to hold positions in waste collection, motorcycle repair, and hospital equipment maintenance. You are proof that a Mustached American can be a Governor, a leader, a respected beacon of excellence.

The full communication is after the jump. Apparently our governor is now eligible for a "Goulet" -- if only someone will nominate him.

(there's more)

What would Jerry tweet?

Harry Tutunjian uses Twitter. Brian Stratton has an account (maybe). But Jerry Jennings is -- to our knowledge -- still not a Twitter user. Or... is he?

Kevin Marshall emails: "Normally these Tweets are protected, but being a former Lieutenant Governor has its benefits. I give you... Jerry's Tweets."

Zombies! Take next right.

And here we had been complaining about potholes.

Jen snapped those pics Saturday morning while driving down North Main in Albany.

We can only hope that she was able to detour over to Manning and avoid the undead traffic.

If hordes of brain-eating zombies weren't ahead, perhaps the sign was inspired by a similar prank in Austin.

Earlier on AOA: Zombie Police of Schenectady

(Thanks, Jen!)

Bobble, bobble, bobble, bobble, bobble

Jerry Jennings, Brian Stratton, Harry Tutunjian, David Paterson, Henry Hudson

We have to admit to turning a bit green with envy when we saw Kim Mazor's lineup of Capital Region/New York State bobbleheads.

Kim's posted a bigger version on Twitpic.

It's HUGE HUMONGOUS!

This commercial for Dom's Pizza -- which has locations in Latham and Stillwater -- made us laugh. You'll recognize the allusion right away.

There are three other commercials -- all in the same vein.

Do you think they sent Billy Fucillo a few pizzas?

(Thanks, Fred!)

Jimmy Fallon's commencement speech

Jimmy Fallon did finally graduate from St. Rose this past weekend. During his commencement speech, he talked about how hard it was to get the college to give him his degree (he was 15 credits short after dropping out):

I'm on national TV, can I have a degree now?

'No, you keep laughing at all the jokes.'

And then I made a bunch of movies... they actually took credits away from me.

The video of Fallon's speech is embedded after the jump. It was pretty funny.

(there's more)

Overheard over coffee

Two guys are sitting in Uncommon Grounds, talking...

Guy #1: My wife really wants a dog but I don't really want to get into all that.

So the other day someone asked her "When are you going to get that dog?" And she says "right after my husbands funeral?"

Guy #2: Do you really think she's going to wait until the funeral?

Blue Pants goes to Wolff's

Sometimes a gnome should know his limits.

Blue Pants -- Albany's very own traveling garden gnome -- has been very busy lately. After Margie found him on UAlbany's uptown campus, he went on quite the eating and drinking spree (result: overindulgence -- see above). Here's the whole whirlwind trip. Then Margie helped him find a new hiding spot.

But now we've heard that Blue Pants has already been found! And he's off on new adventures! We're looking forward to BP's next round of hijinks.

Earlier on AOA: Have you seen these gnomes?

(Thanks, Sebastien and Kim!)

Gnomes over Albany

Could Blue Pants now be hiding somewhere around the ESP?

Blue Pants has been found!

Margie plucked him his hiding spot on the UAlbany uptown campus. She reports:

We are having a day or two of adventures around Albany, taking plenty of pictures, and then I will re-hide him somewhere in the city for another to find. I have attached a picture for you. More to come...

We're looking forward to hearing about Blue Pants' next adventure.

Sadly, we've yet to hear what's come of Blue Pants' gnome comrade, Red Pants. We can only hope he's found a nice garden somewhere.

Earlier on AOA: Have you seen these gnomes?

All that communicating pays off

Jimmy Fallon was on the Tonight Show last night -- and he talked about his upcoming graduation from St. Rose:

He starts talking about St. Rose -- and how we dropped out -- about two minutes into the video.

So, if he dropped out, how are they awarding him a degree? "They're giving me credit for all the communicating I've been doing."

He's the famous Fountain Day guy

After the TU's (in)famous 2004 Fountain Day photo resurfaced last week, we were kind of curious to find out what's become of the two people in the pic.

Well, we're still keeping an eye out for the mysterious Tatiana Shvachus -- but we found Eric Fisher. He's now a TV meteorologist in Springfield, Massachusetts.

We emailed him a few questions about his memories of that day -- and that picture.

(there's more)

Moo-vin' on up

The story of SUNY Cobleskill's twittering cow, C. Abunga, has finally been told:

The young Holstein, a sworn vegetarian, loves alfalfa sprouts, maple syrup, veggie lasagna, mesculin, arugula, and cheese, claiming "it's like mother's milk." In addition to being a foodie, C. Abunga occupies her time like most other teenagers. She secretly wishes Joe of the Jonas Brothers and Taylor Swift would get back together. She plays the Wii (noting she "rocks Wii Play's racing cow game"). She dreams of moving to Hollywood to become a Happy California Cow and put her hoof prints on the Walk of Fame.

"Have you seen those girls?!" exclaimed C. Abunga. "I mean they're like four legged versions of Marilyn Monroe!"

Noted: C. Abunga has a Chinese pen pal named Mu Cao.

Jimmy Fallon's strike at the Playdium

Check out this great anecdote from a St. Rose Chronicle story by Allison Maloney about Jimmy Fallon's time at the school back in the early 90s:

Fallon garnered attention off-stage, too. One time, at The Playdium, the closest bowling alley to campus, where Saint Rose students had gathered for community midnight bowling, he did something a lot of people may have the impulse to do, but never act on.

"All of the sudden, you see this person sprinting down the bowling lane. [Fallon] dove like a Pete Rose slide, head first, and knocked all the bowling pins over. He got up and he did a big X like he got a strike and the whole place went nuts and starts clapping," said Eaton.

As you can imagine, that didn't go over well with the alley's owners -- and they kicked him out. But Fallon managed to get the last laugh.

Previous AOA items about Jimmy Fallon.

image: NBC

The "dump tax"

A couple of people have emailed us today about a "dump tax" that's taking effect today. From the site for this "tax":

The New York bathroom tax will take effect at midnight on March 26. All bathrooms in state buildings and roads will now require a $1.00 pre payment. Toilet paper will be available at twenty-five cents per 10 sheets. Credit and debit cards will be accepted. We thank you in advance for your patience during this transition.

Ha! This is clearly a hoax. And it looks like it was created by people at PYX 106.* The url "dumptaxny.info" was registered by Robert Wohlfeld of Chatham -- AKA The Wolf.

Nicely played.

*We didn't hear the segment in which they apparently talked about this today, so they might have owned up to the hoax on the air.

The tiny truck

It sounded like a golf cart.

We spotted this tiny truck tooling along the sidewalk today at St. Rose and it made us smile. It almost looked like it would tip over when the guy got in the driver's seat.

We can only hope they use the trucks to deliver something equally tiny and cute and a little weird. Like garden gnomes.